Rohit Prabhakar : Leadership and Management Blog » Self Development

Power of Feedback

Rohit Prabhakar — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 21:52:18 +0000

One of the most crucial items in a Manager-Team Member relation is feedback. I have personally seen and experienced the power of feedback numerous times. I have been at both the sides of receiving and giving of feedback. So must be you too, sometime or the other on one of the sides of feedback as a kid-parent, manager-team member, teacher-student etc. All my great experiences in life have been in relations where feedback was flowing. Definitely it is not easy to make the feedback flow on either side but whenever I have seen it flowing, I have seen strong teams, relations or partnerships. The most common aspect of feedback is, we all are mostly afraid of receiving it as well as giving it. If we are receiving feedback we are afraid of a negative feedback and if giving we are afraid of the reaction if the feedback is not positive. I have always understood the power of feedback hence have heavily relied of receiving and giving feedback. I would say I am little high on receiving feedback. If you have recently received a feedback (positive feedback,or negative feedback) and you are trying to understand how to react or would like to read about the power of feedback or you are trying to understand if and how to give negative feedback; please read the notes below:

I recently attended a webinar “The Power of Feedback” by Carole Robin, Ph.D. and organized by Stanford GSB

Here are the notes that I captured as I completely agree with the speaker on this topic as I have practiced this infinite number of times in my personal and professional life and it has worked each and every time.

Feedback is good as:

Human beings are intentional animals
Embedded self-disclosure
Builds relationship

Pinches before crunches: It helps to handle the problem as it starts and not let it become very big.
Promotes intellectual honesty: if we provide feedback regularly it helps us to share the honest feedback and saving lot of money by not needing to involve consultants

Key to development More feedback helps both the parties to evolve and create leaders

Even when feedback is so good why is it so rare?

The reason is the mental models we hold and/or we lack the skill to receive or give a feedback.

Mental Models:

Positive:

Disingenuous, suspicious, binding. These are the beliefs that we hold based on past experiences. We overlearn from our experiences and we stopped giving those.

Constructive: (we are reluctant to give constructive feedback so that we don’t)

Hurt, Discomfort, disrupt, other “turn table”

Lack of skill:

In every interaction there are many realities. We are not able to capture the complete picture in any interaction. In the illustration below,Person A and B have their own realities and a net of common realities that they may understand about each other.

Mental Model

When Person A is giving feedback (s)he is aware of their own needs, motive, situation and the common reality only and totally unaware of person B’s reality.

When person B receives the feedback (s)he is not aware of person A’sneeds, motive and situation but only aware of their own feelings, reactions, responses and the common reality.

As none of the parties have a complete picture it is highly complex to give or receive a feedback properly.

What happens if they don’t stay on their side of the net and go over the net. They would be able to understand the other side of the net too. The giver would understand the feelings, reactions and responses of the receiver while the receiver will understand the needs, motives and situation of the giver. This helps to remove all the guess work and understand the complete picture and a great feedback. Whichever side you are on, If you go over the net and try to clarify things become better.

HOLD BACK YOUR MENTAL MODEL AND PRACTICE THE SKILL OF GOING OVER THE NET.YOU WILL SEE HOW WELL YOU RECEIVE AND GIVE FEEDBACK.

The speaker shared a mantra that she uses all the time: Tell yourself always that “Feedback is a gift” and train yourself to say ” Thanks for saying something” to anyone providing you a feedback.

Here are few other great points about feedback that the speaker shared:

The feedback should be

Behavior specific
Impact on me
Benefit to you
Builds emotional bank account
Note meaningless platitude
Beware of sandwich (share bad with good): Don’t mush a negative feedback with a positive one. The person receiving will not be able to understand what to take positive or negative and most of the times they end up taking the negative only.

When you compliment don’t just say “great job”. Be more specific and add value and weight to your compliment.

GIVING FEEDBACK:

Speak to their interest
People view selves as reasonable
Stay on your side of the net

RECEIVING FEEDBACK

Listen for understanding
Accept over the net; use model
Move to problem solving
Say when had enough
Maintain gift mindset

Goal of feedback is to Move to joint problem solving. When providing feedback always remember, DEFENSIVENESS is Normal AND desirable. When the receiver becomes defensive always assure them that “I know it is not so easy to get this feedback”.

-Enjoy

Leave a Trail of The Genius

Rohit Prabhakar — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 22:25:18 +0000

Slide from Aaron's deck

Few months back I got a chance to listen to my mentor’s mentor, Mr. Prashant Pala. He was sharing a lesson from life. Mr. Prashant Pala is a highly successful entrepreneur and a great visionary. Every time I have got a chance to talk to Prashant or listen him I have gathered a few years of wisdom in few short minutes. At such a young age I could never imagine anyone having so much of wisdom.

Lets get back to where i started, I was talking about life lessons. The same lesson came back to me few days ago while listening to a speaker at An Event Apart. It was Mr. Aaron Walter, talking on subject “From Idea to Interface”. He shared how twitter came to existence. To cut the story short, the concept of idea came to its founder almost 6 years before it came into existence. The founder didn’t let the idea die when he got it and all whom he shared it with ridiculed him. He put the idea onto paper which was used years later. Aaron talked about “1000 things on the Shelf”. He Talked about letting all your ideas be noted and shelved so that you can take them out when a right time comes.

Twitter on paper, mark of a genius

As a very successful, genius person says ” Luck is when Opportunity meets Preparedness”.

The same was shared by Mr. Prashant Pala when he was talking about “leave a trail of a genius”. He was sharing that always carry a notebook and pen. As soon as you get any idea or good though in your mind, note it down. Once you write those down you give your ideas a chance to live else so many thoughts (and many of them great ones) come to our minds but are lost before we may even think about them. That is what makes the genius different from most of us. While a genius will always note them down, most of us will let it die, everyday and every time.

Leave a trail of a genius! Give your ideas a chance to live. Don’t let your thoughts die.

I Wish the best to the Genius inside you.
-Rohit

Success lies in starting early and in time.

Rohit Prabhakar — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 00:52:18 +0000

I have read many books and every book talks about success is just few steps further from the point where you quit. Both “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill and “Magic of Thinking Big” by Dr. David J. Schwartz talk about a common story. “Three-Feet from Gold” is the story of R.U. Darby and his uncle who left the gold just three feet below. Similar to this story the other such common form of stories are that of procrastination.

Few days ago in the morning as I left my home for work to catch BART I started thinking about how late I am and how I will not catch the train. The thought become dominant but I kept on thinking that I will catch the train. I reached the BART parking and drove to the top floor for marking and it takes almost 5 minutes sometime. Mr. negative started creeping in my mind, telling me that for sure I will miss the train. The train was at 8 AM and Mr. negative said that I should not try as for sure I am going to miss the train. But I started trying to convince myself and negotiated a deal with myself that if the train is not at the platform I will try else I will not as it takes 3 minutes to run from the parking to the train. I took my time to decide and started walking slowly as I was fighting with Mr. Negative and Positive. Then walking half a way I saw that the train was not there and I started running.

When I reached the platform the train doors were closing and I jumped in. I was myself in with half of my bag out. Thanks to the driver of the BART that he opened it and I got in fully. Now you must be wondering what has this to do with the story of the Gold.

“If I had not wasted 3 minutes taking the decision and just have gone with Mr. Positive. I could have been running to the platform and could have boarded the train far more easily and safely.”

FAILURE COULD BE NOT JUST BECAUSE OF QUITTING , BUT ALSO STARTING LATE!

Procrastination always cost more.

Success Plan: Tuesday Morning Coaching

Rohit Prabhakar — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 17:17:11 +0000

“In just 2 days of reading the chapter “Focus inside the boat” I have seen a big change in myself as I always thought the time management is a skill that I need to work on. But the reality was I need to learn attention management!”

This book is among the top ten books in my reading list. Every chapter is worth reading and especially the one which asks to focus inside the boat. This book is must read for anyone who looks forward to improve in all domains of life. Anyone who is going through some professional or personal challenges must read it right now!

Here are the eight lessons that the books shares as a Sucess Plan:

No matter what – I accept responsibility and move forward.
And then some – I give what is expected and then some.
Consider it done- I am consistent and dependable
Above all else- I adhere to my values
From now on- I learn from my mistakes and welcome change
See it, feel it, trust it, do it – I am a champion goal setter
Focus inside the boat- I manage my attention and defeat procrastination
Knowledge is power – I am a lifelong learner

All Thanks to “Tuesday Morning Coaching … Eight Simple Truths to Boost Your Career and Your Life by David Cottrell”

Image from Amazon

Paperback: 152 pages
Publisher: CornerStone Leadership Institute (September 15, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780981924250
ISBN-13: 978-0981924250
ASIN: 098192425

It is not about me, It is about Them

Rohit Prabhakar — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 20:35:17 +0000

Go-Giver Sell More

After reading a book titled “Go-Giver Sell More” by Bob Burg and John David Mann I learned that every action should remind me that “It is not about me, It is about Them”

Awesome, Fantastic, Life Changing, thought changing……………..book! I am totally moved by each and every line and each and every chapter.

What a great thought process Bob Burg has that he has captured every single thing that every person (in sales or not) should know. And it is not about knowing but it is about what we should implement.

Thanks to this book, both my professional and personal life has seen a huge positive change in last 5 days.

Thanks a lot to the author for writing this book and to my mentor for giving me this book. Thanks a lot!”

“Go-Giver Sell More” by Bob Burg and John David Mann

Publisher: Portfolio Hardcover (February 18, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1591843081
ISBN-13: 978-1591843085

Nine Things Successful People Do Differently

Rohit Prabhakar — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 19:00:17 +0000

A must read blog by Heidi Grant Halvorson at Harvard Business Review. The following are the 9 things:

Get specific.
Seize the moment to act on your goals.
Know exactly how far you have left to go.
Be a realistic optimist.
Focus on getting better, rather than being good.
Have grit.
Build your willpower muscle.
Don’t tempt fate.
Focus on what you will do, not what you won’t do.

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/02/nine_things_successful_people.html?cm_sp=most_widget-_-default-_-Nine+Things+Successful+People+Do+Differently

Enjoy!!!!!

Never Give Up your dream

Rohit Prabhakar — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 21:04:40 +0000

Why? Read this powerful real life story that I have read in many books. Here is the story from book “Think & Grow Rich” in section named “Three Feet & Fifty Cents”

One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat. Every person is guilty of this mistake at one time or another.

An uncle of RU Darby was caught by the “gold fever” in the gold-rush days, and went west to dig and grow rich. He had never heard that more gold has been mined from the brains of people than has ever been taken from the earth. He staked a claim and went to work with pick and shovel. The going was hard, but his lust for gold was definite.

After weeks of labor, he was rewarded by the discovery of the shining ore. He needed machinery to bring the ore to the surface. Quietly, he covered up the mine, retraced his footsteps to his home in Williamsburg, Maryland, and told his relatives and a few neighbors of the “strike.” They got together money for the needed machinery, had it shipped.

The uncle and Darby went back to work the mine.

The first car of ore was mined, and shipped to a smelter. The returns proved they had one of the richest mines in Colorado! A few more cars of that ore would clear the debts. Then would come the big killing in profits.

Down went the drills! Up went the hopes of Darby and Uncle! Then something happened. The vein of gold ore disappeared! They had come to the end of the rainbow, and the pot of gold was no longer there! They drilled on, desperately trying to pick up the vein again—all to no avail.

Finally, they decided to QUIT. They sold the machinery to a junk man for a few hundred dollars, and took the train back home. Some “junk” men are dumb, but not this one! He called in a mining engineer to look at the mine and do a little calculating. The engineer advised that the project had failed, because the owners were not familiar with “fault lines.” His calculations showed that the vein would be found JUST THREE FEET FROM WHERE THE DARBYS HAD STOPPED DRILLING!

That is exactly where it was found! The “Junk” man took millions of dollars in ore from the mine, because he knew enough to seek expert counsel before giving up.

Think the best

Rohit Prabhakar — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 22:13:38 +0000

Think the best of life and people
Don’t waste your time thinking feeble

Make your mind behave the way
Of who you want to be today

Think success before the fact
Let it shine through word and act

Visualize who you will be
Thinking shapes your destiny.

-Wes Beavis

Uplift and Inspire

Rohit Prabhakar — Sun, 03 Oct 2010 20:05:39 +0000

I watched them tearing a building down,
A gang of men in a busy town,
With a ho heave ho and a lusty yell,
They swung a beam and a side wall fell
And I asked the foremen, “Are these men skilled,
The men he’d hire if he had had to build?”
He gave a laugh and said, “No indeed!
Just a common laborer is all I need.
I can easily wreck in a day or two
What builders have taken a year to do.”
I asked myself as I went my way,
Which of these roles have I tried to play.
Am I a builder who works with care,
Measuring life with rule and square?
Or am I a wrecker as I walks the town ,
Content with the labor of tearing down.
-Unknown Author

I read this wonderful poem and could not stop myself from sharing this. From a book titled “8 Attributes of Great Achievers” by Cameron C. Taylor

6 Lessons from Jack Welch's – Straight from the Gut

Rohit Prabhakar — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 13:25:48 +0000

Control your destiny or someone else will
Face reality as it is
Be candid with everyone
Don’t manage, Lead
Change before you have to
If you don’t have competitive advantage don’t compete